Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.
oh how far i fall from the truth of this all. how far i am from the understanding that i am heard and loved by the God of all creation. i know my heart...i know its evil all too well.
i was inspired this morning to write down the things i am afraid of...
the things that cause fear. here is what i have so far in textEdit:
"what am i afraid of? . . . . .."
that's all i have. i can't seem to work past that.
it's as if i'm afraid to put to words the things my heart most fears.
because then i feel as if i'm responsible to do something about those fears.
it's as if i am scared to put myself out there and work through them.
the majority of my fears lie in relationships.
and disappointment in myself. and not being made right.
but i do know that i am made right in the presence and power of Christ.
so where is the disconnect?
friends...what are you afraid of?
have you worked through it?
have you attempted?
have you avoided it all together [much like myself]?
i know it's a healthy thing to do. yet i feel as though to work through all of these things, that 'privilege of intimate conversation with God' needs to surround me. and it's not. i want to be there. i want to know that again.
sweet Jesus. take this hard hard heart and make it soft.
speak to me Lord but also...let me speak to You.
i am a wreck.
your love never fails