i know where i'm found.

"none of us brings the same fears into relationships; but whenever there is conflict and distance between two people, it’s always worth opening yourself up to what might be revealed about you that can bring freedom to the one you love."

oh sweet Jesus of revelation, thank you for bringing these words to me this morning.

these are the thoughts that accompanied that thought. a marriage is to look strikingly similar to the relationship between Christ and His church, yes? matthew 20.28 says that just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

ransom - the release of property or a person in return for payment of a demanded price.
when someone gives a ransom, they, in one way or another, are paying for your freedom, yes?

Jesus came to serve us...and His biggest act of service was that He gave His life...He gave us freedom. freedom from ourselves. freedom from the world. freedom. freedom. freedom. under the freedom He gave us falls so many fruits.

if our marriages are to mirror that of Jesus Christ, wouldn't it only make sense that we do things [within our ability] to bring the other a certain freedom? and in this case freedom takes on the face of humility.

it comes in opening myself up to the ugly and the nasty and fear in my own heart and asking Jesus to replace it with the fruits of the Spirit in order to set Josh free from my own baggage...to face what most darkens my heart and replace it with light so that I can serve and love Josh better...that he may feel even more freedom within our relationship.

it's about realizing where i fall short and asking God to come and complete and fill me instead of settling comfortably into where i'm currently at.

friends, let me be a bit transparent and brutally honest: these things i'm saying are so much easier to write than they are to live. day in and day out i struggle with the place i'm in and the actions and words that come out of me. constantly feeling as though i am falling way short of mark of a good wife but knowing, all in the same breath, that where i am at is RIGHT and the path i'm walking with josh right now is RIGHT. the journey we're on holds more lessons than we could ever grasp. it's things like this that keep my heart alive in the dark times...because i know this isn't the end of line. it's only the beginning. how much JOY comes in that!

i love sharing this crazy life with josh. i love walking with him through the ups and downs. and with the Lord? i choose Him. i fail over and over and over again but my heart wants Him...desires HIM. though i feel so far at times, i am found in Him.

[snowboarding for the first time EVER for me this week!]