Saturday, February 20, 2010

the real voice

i'm still reading a million miles in a thousand years. and i am still enjoying it so so much. this morning, bright and early, i read this and my heart knew it's words too well.

"the real Voice is stiller and smaller and seems to know, without confusion, the difference between right and wrong and the subtle delineation between the beautiful and profane. it's not an agitated Voice, but ever patient as though it approves a million false starts. the Voice i'm talking about is a deep water of calming wisdom and says ...hold your tongue; don't talk about that person that way; forgive the friend you haven't talked to; don't look at that woman as a possession; i want to show you the sunset; look and see how short life is and how your troubles are not worth worrying about..."

josh and i had an argument last night and it was ridiculous. not because i felt misunderstood or that he didn't care about me or my feelings. it was ridiculous because the fight was stupid. in the midst of our frustrations i said something along the lines of "this is absolutely stupid. we sound like effing toddlers" patience had gone out the window and even though what we were talking about wasn't worth anyones discussion, we kept going.

finally, we grew up 20 years, we stopped bickering and my husband, in an effort to get me to smile, offered me a christian side hug [please see this video]. i never thought it was possible but the offer for a pure christian side hug [while laying side by side in bed] healed the past 10 minutes of conflict (:

i tell that story to come back to the quoted paragraph. God knows, without any hint of confusion, right and wrong. he does not get agitated with us but his patience endures even through the worst of our pits. my humanness has never been so clearly told than in the story of our marriage. my mind blurs right and wrong. it confuses beauty with justification. it mixes up patience with stupidity.

but in all of this, one thing remains, when i fail - He prevails.
in my impatience and stubbornness, His hand is all over my heart, calling me to be still...
to be still and know that my husband is a gift.
to be still and know that i don't need to be right.
to be still and know that i am LOVED.
to be still and know that i am so much to be thankful for.
to be still and know that he is God.

- - -

it's friday morning. that means that tomorrow is saturday. that means i go to the gym and take another kick butt fitness class.
but [yay!!] that also means that i get to search my favorite baking blogs to find the perfect recipe for the afternoon.
i'll gather my things in the kitchen and turn on the music, tell my husband i love him and then i'll get to work.
i'll keep you updated on what unfolds in our little green kitchen.

here is something i made the other day.
they taste better a day or two after than they did the day of.
also. i think i baked them a few minutes too long.

do you see that brown sugar GOODNESS?!
i could eat a whole bowl of that stuff if my stomach allowed.
i have to be quick to take it out and quick to put it away when i bake...
other it'd be gone.

have a good day, world. i'll let you know about my baking escapades later (:


  1. you're such a blessing julie : ) i love that quote...i want to write it on my wall...i think i should read that book : )

  2. I literally BURST out laughing when I saw "christian side hug"...bahaha totally made me think of Teen Mania. What video are you talking about? lol I love looking at all the yummy things you make..and I'm the same way with brown sugar!! I need to check out some of these cooking blogs you're into.