updated

it's been a year and a half.
should i start back up?

i'd imagine that so VERY few people read this.

what's given is given away.

"I thought it would be hard to believe in, but it's not hard at all
To believe I've sinned
And fallen short
Of the glory of God

He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He's asking to take my place
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real amazing grace

And it's not just a sign or a sacrament
It's not just a metaphor for love
The blood is real and it's not just a symbol of our faith"

so often i have this very convicting thought that lays heavy on my heart:
Jesus just wants in
His blood was shed for a price.
He traded His life so that i might catch even a glimpse of the Glory he knows so well.

by denying him entry and attempting to navigate rough roads alone, i am left in a horrible spot that leaves me behaving as though i've never understood the voice of God - that i have never heard Him speak gently to me, guiding me into a peace that He created for us all to enjoy.

feeling as though i am "entitled" to things is wearing.
& it's such an ugly thing - such a human instinct.
what a lie it is. i am entitled to nothing. i am from the dirt.

all that i have, all that i have yet to acquire, every human that i am in relationship with, all the places i've been...all of it is not mine to take ownership of. they are all gifts and a healthy response is gratitude and humbleness. while i am not to take ownership of these things, i am also not to hold so closely to them as to not share.

what i have been given, i have been created to give away.

a continuous outpouring.
this how Christ lived.

He gave and gave and gave until He ended up being crucified by those who were too prideful to see any other way.

& maybe we shy away from the message of the cross at times not just because it's more culturally "relevant" to speak of other elements of the faith but because we too are filled with a pride to truly think and dwell about such a humbling sacrifice.

we will never be the same

people use blogs for different reasons, so many reasons, good and bad. their thoughts, their ideas, their dislikes, their politics, their recipes, their pictures of their ridiculously cute animals...whatever it may be, they have the freedom to do. depending on who you are and how long you've known me and how long you've been following me in the blog world, you'll know that my blog history is one that is personal. i've share the world around me, i've share the world inside me.

my previous blog was primarily my writings from my time in uganda in 2008. my was exploding in so many different ways and i couldn't seem to do justice to all that was happening. i felt pain and struggle. i was joy and redemption. i felt conviction and for the first time, i knew romantic love with a man. my writings reflected my heart.

my life has changed since then. such a drastic change..i could never have dreamed of it. i returned from uganda, attempted to adjust, got engaged, got married, moved to canada and lived there for the first 14+ months of our marriage and now i [we] have come back stateside - - all in less than 21 months. if you've followed me/my blogs since my time in uganda, you'll know that the number of posts has dropped...significantly. theres a reason for that.

[here goes vulnerable for the sake of growth]

marriage has taken us by storm.
a storm can be a hard place to write from.

marriage has shaken me to the core and revealed more about myself than i could have fathomed.
God has purpose in it.


being married to josh has been one of the best gifts i have ever received but it hasn't come without some serious revelation and some serious stretching and some serious hard moments for us. God has always intended for josh to hold my heart on this earth, no doubt about it. but for us, the coming together of two separate lives and personalities into one hasn't happened as smoothly as we perhaps envisioned it. our humanness shows up every morning and it has a really nasty habit of showing its ugly self to the other.

i love this man with my entire heart. if he left my side, i fear my heart would break every new morning. [i'm learning dependence IS ok] i love him, i fight for him, i want to see him chase his heart dreams. i'd give anything for him.

all that said -- i guess you could say we had no 'honeymoon stage' of marriage. we got right down into it. God began a long and hard work in our marriage. tough questions. new realities. expectations. miscommunications. it seemed that all around me were happy couples. newlyweds without fault. i felt as though something was 'wrong'. in my own heart, i felt as though our hard times made us the outcasts - the ones who didn't 'fit' the newlywed stereotype. i started believing those lies you hear when you're down. guilt crept in. i kept my heart to myself, i kept quiet. my lips didn't speak much, my fingers didn't write much. i didn't necessarily act like everything was perfect, but i do admit to leaving out what i thought was the 'bad' and the 'ugly'. i carried a weight. i was often confused about what to write in a blog. i wanted to write from my heart but with the guilt i felt, came a fear. what if i was honest. what would they think? [if you were to ask me who 'they' were, i don't think i would have even had an answer. ]

these thoughts were wrong.

through it all, good and bad, God has been fighting for me. for us. fighting to break into my heart and bring light to this situation. i often felt/feel him wanting to speak truth about our reality, about guilt, about honesty, about how what we're experiencing is actually quite normal. my heart has been fighting to hear - fighting hard to hear more Truth. there are moments that are dark. but. there are also moments where freedom feels real and understand comes..and these moments are increasing.

and then this past weekend happened.


it was at that moment, standing in that place, in that beautiful church that it hit me.

i will never be the same.


at the start, He was there. and at the end, He'll be there.

and because of that - i'm different.



in those moments, a bit of clarity came to my heart.
God called josh and i into this marriage and i will never be the same because of that
what God intended to reveal - to shake up - to change is being done
and i am changing because of it.

he took this idea we had of marriage & turned it into a living breathing thing in our lives.
we will never be the same.

i often take for granted what's been given to me.
sometimes i take this precious gift of a husband and a marriage and i twist it in my own little world the way i see fit. i have damaged, i have hurt, i have gone too far, i have spoken words i do not mean, i have blatantly disrespected the very man God saw fit to lead me through life.

"and after all my hands have wrought, He forgives."
he forgives. forgives. forgives. forgives?

and after all falls apart,
He repairs

he loves me so much that even after all i have done, he cares to repair.
he doesn't leave me orphaned; to fend for myself.

he enters & he offers redemption for us all.
Jesus Christ offers sweet redemption to us all.
redemption. what a FULL word.

"there were scars before my scars
love written on the hands that hung the stars
hope living in the blood that was spilled for me"


so here i am - open wide.
trying to figure out to accept this grace and offer of hope.
Gods love is strong. God supplies us with His love.
God is love and love IS real.


i have so much to say now.
so many more words to help form the above jumbled thoughts into more complete thoughts and ideas.


we are loved, friends.

longtime

hard
crappy
crummy
confusing
overwhelming
stressful

all of these situations...

they make me...

respect
love
honor
look up to

my wonderful husband more and more



marriage takes me by storm sometimes
but it's a storm i am going to see through day after day after day
because i was called into this marriage
and a covenant was made between God and Josh and I

the picture that God gives us of our eternal relationship with Him is the perfect example of how i view our marriage. in my mess of a life, God chooses me. over and over. and so it is for that reason [and many others] that i choose Josh over and over.

God truly is our best example in all areas of life.
walking [or trying to] with Him just makes sense.







i love fall colored flowers

everything has changed.
traveling to africa is no longer a plan right now.

life changes so quickly.
sometimes i like that, other times it drives me NUTS.

it's unknown but it's also okay.

i just don't understand things sometimes. and i know that's okay. and i know it's part of life. but that doesn't mean contentment comes automatically, right?

josh and i had such a good grasp of what life would look like for us in the near future. but then...all of a sudden, we think something changed.

being in calgary is coming to a close, we both know that.
but we don't know where we'll be after calgary.

africa is always an option.
kansas city is always an option.
the northwest is always an option.

we could flippantly choose any of these but we want guidance.
we want there to be purpose & reason behind our move.

when we got married, we were obviously very aware that we came from different countries. but it's a whole new reality when we actually come to face the music: we have to go through immigration. i admit that we have avoided actually acknowledging this but it's rearing it's ugly little head lately. it is inevitable that we'll have to go through the immigration process for either him or i. it's unavoidable. so we have to pretty much make the decision of "when". now or later? africa first or usa first? maybe there is a compromise. maybe we can get the best of both worlds.

we are seeking direction. we are exploring. we are coming to terms that life may look different than we imagined it would...even from 2 weeks ago. we are praying. we'd love for you to join us.

---------------------

after being gone for 2 1/2 weeks, i returned to calgary tuesday evening.
so many good good things happened in my travels.

this love of my life got engaged to the love[r] of her life:



this love of my life got married to the love[r] of her life:





{what a blessing to be part of that day...to share in their JOY}

i'm thankful that people i love and miss got to spend TIME together




thankful to spend a week away from everything in florida with this one:







and now we're back. here in the great north.
seeking and waiting and anticipating.



my mom comes on sunday for a week. we're going to beautiful british columbia. i'm so thankful that joshs job has allowed him such flexibility and that they have such a sweet vacation time pay system. so thankful for that blessing.

oh. and did i mention that tomorrow is our one year anniversary of marriage?
what an intense year.
growing. learning. struggling. patience. awakening. fun.
(:
tomorrow we'll celebrate by spending the day in banff, alberta.
can't wait. he's the best husband i could ever ever have.
[and he's really really handsome]

daisy love

my words cannot express what my heart is feeling.

please pray for this sweet sweet little girl

i do not understand things such as this..
but i know that the hand of God hasn't left her body.
we, as the Church, are responsible for our own.
lets pray.

it's the same.

there are situations in life where i don't seem to be able to find words to express my sympathy...my empathy...my confusion...my deep deep sorrow.

i find that this song has helped me express this event

sometimes all i can seem to think or say is 'may Gods love be with you'
and i mean it from the very depths of my heart.

people read of news stories like this and they don't really give it much thought. i will admit that i am slightly biased towards anything that comes out of uganda but i will say that i find something to be a bit off when an AM news radio station spends 20 seconds talking about bombings in uganda and then spends 4 or 5 minutes talking about a pancake feed that is happening.

my dad put it all too well when he said
"it's there. and we're here. it's another world for most people unfortunately."

dad, you've got it. it is viewed as a separate world. a different planet. most find that it doesn't bother them, that they can very easily separate and remove themselvesselves from things like this. aren't we supposed to 'weep with those who weep'? aren't we at least supposed to attempt to connect with their suffering and their burdens?

i don't have the answers to all of these things. not in any way. but i do know that Jesus cares about what happens in our neighborhoods and what happens all over the world. and that means we need to learn to care. deeply, genuinely, unselfishly.



josh and i continue to explore what life may look like in a couple of months. slowly we're getting [we think] a clearer picture of what may be coming our way. we are excited! nothing is set in stone right now but when things become a bit more definite, we'll be happy to share details. until then, we pray. we hope. we seek.

i leave in less than 5 days for kansas and i couldn't be happier. i'll be spending a week and a half in kansas and then a week in florida. and then my mom comes for a week! i can't wait for these couple of weeks to start. surrounding by friends and family. seeing 2 good friends get married. my dads birthday. spending my 23rd birthday with friends and family. spending a week away and relaxing with joshua.

i am so thankful that the Lord is providing me with this upcoming month.
lets do it.


"in all things we know that we are more than conquerors."

because sometimes...you just want him.

today i was worn out. i was tired. i was exhausted. my mind kept going and going about how tired i was and i thought i was just ready for the day to be OVER with. but i think, as i was driving, i tapped into something deeper. something that i haven't tapped into in a while.

charlie hall's song, come for me, was playing and i found that i was singing my little heart out. and then i played the song again. and again. and again. [sometimes being outside city limits has it's perks...it makes car rides longer] today, in my exhaustion, i wasn't wanting to sit down. i wasn't wanting to put my feet up. i wasn't wanting a drink. i wasn't wanting any of these things. it was after singing the line a couple of times that i realized how deep the words were going.

"you'll come again with a shout, like a thief in the night you'll come riding on clouds...
and finally the Voice i have followed for life has a glorious face that is lit up with light"

somehow, past all the physical and mental distractions, my heart was aching for Jesus..to come, rescue my heart. to bring peace. in that moment, that is what i was truly longing for.

these things that i hear or read,
these things that cause a bit of [holy?] rage in this heart of mine,
these things that are realities that can't be avoided...
this thing i call my conscience actually isn't a conscience.
it's the voice that i follow. it's the voice i long for. it's the voice that leads me.
it's the voice of the One who is strong and full of all Good.

so today when i was worn out, i sang with hope.
knowing that one day, this voice will have a face.
all he will restore all things to new.
and hurt and pain and injustice will be a memory.
one day light will be shining and no eye will be able to look away.
and i look forward to that day.

until that day...we sing. we hope. we pray like mad.
we act. we advocate. we raise awareness. we proclaim beauty.
and we fight...because the hands and feet of Jesus need to spread wide.

p s a l m 97

bless you.

"may God bless you with anger at
injustice
oppression
and
exploitation of people
so that you may work for
justice
freedom
and
peace"

franciscan benediction




[julie, janet, winnie]

we will remember.

Life is full of light and shadow
O the joy and O the sorrow
O the sorrow

And yet will He bring
Dark to light
And yet will He bring
Day from night

When shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him Shadow of the cross

---david crowder band [shadows]

resting is really hard at times. it almost seems impossible at times for my heart.
not resting physically. i can do that i think.
but resting in all the things that God is. all the things that He has promised and given.

honesty: in the midst of the hardest, most challenging and most fruitful relationships [marriage, anyone?] i don't seem to fully know how to rest in the hand and ways of God and understand that my justification is NOT as important as grace.

i feel as though those closest to me would definitely agree with this word to describe me:
determined. if my mind is on something, i do. i go for it. why hold back?
i am determined -truly by the grace of God- to gain a better understanding of Gods purpose.
i am determined to CHANGE and heaven knows, it won't be on my own accord.

"I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me."
psalm 16.8

he's commanded that i be strong and courageous...
and sometimes courage comes in the form of denying yourself.
God help us all.






ps - who saw the Germans kick butt yesterday in the world cup?
here's my own little German...love him (:

those forgetful things.

"Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? How is it you don't understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees." Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees."


i can't tell you how many times in a DAY God is saying to me 'don't you REMEMBER?? don't you REMEMBER how GOOD i was to then and how GOOD i'm going to be to you now? don't you remember when i've already done in your life...don't forget all i've done!

the disciples forgot so easily that just in the previous days God had turned a meager amount of food into enough to feed thousands. thousands. THOUSANDS. he fed thousands. i have seen God make a pot of beans seem quite endless in uganda. and yet often...i forget.

i don't want to forget the things God has done. i want to remember them, think upon them and be gracious. i want to have an attitude that is grateful. i don't want to be so wrapped up in the here and now and i forget the then and WOW.


---------


i have been so challenged and inspired by the story of this woman:

keepdancingamy.com

here is the connection...one of my best friends, katie, is dating dave. dave is in a band. jonny is daves bandmate. [strange enough, jonny and i were in the same public speaking class my first semester of college]. jonny is married to a beautiful woman named amy. here is the story:

story story story

the strength and trust that jonny has in the Lord for the life of his wife is challenging me and taking me to a new level of understanding of the pure goodness of the LORD.

it brings my heart to my knees in encouragement and humbleness and conviction on a pretty much daily basis.
along with many others, i thank God for the continued life of amy.
it can only mean that greater things are to come for jonny and her.

their story makes me never want to take josh for granted ever again...











we have lived our lives by the assumption that what was good for us would be good for the world. we have been wrong. we must change our lives so that it will be possible to live by the contrary assumption, that what is good for the world will be good for us. and that requires that we make the effort to know the world and learn what is good for it. -wendellberry

things are happening.

----

not as important as the LIFE changes, i'm considering another tattoo!
yeeps!

we choose not to coast.

"that day Jesus went out of the house and was sitting by the sea and large crowds gathered to Him, so He got into a boat and sat down, and the whole crowd was standing on the beach.

and He spoke many things to them in parables, saying, "Behold, the sower went out to sow;and as he sowed, some seeds fell beside the road, and the birds came and ate them up.

others fell on the rocky places, where they did not have much soil; and immediately they sprang up, because they had no depth of soil.

but when the sun had risen, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.

others fell among the thorns, and the thorns came up and choked them out.

and others fell on the good soil and yielded a crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty. he who has ears, let him hear."

Matthew 13.1-9

as i hinted at in my previous post, josh and i are being moved toward some life changes in the upcoming weeks...months...years? as i read these words that were spoken by Jesus to huge crowds, i came to a different understanding of this passage. these verses are often taught to be a parable about the message of salvation...the message of God's grace, the message of redemption. the different soils are similar to the conditions of our hearts, how readily we accept the Word...yeah? but yesterday, as i was reading...something different came over my heart.

[never downplaying the message of redemption towards God...] we receive many "words" from God in our life that stretch beyond salvation but very similarly we have the same options in front of us as to how we respond to these words. will the words and guidance God speaks over us be received on good soil? or will rocks and thorns be present? do we chose to hear, accept and obey that word or will we simply choose to 'coast' on the easier words of Christ and not do the things which we know we ought?

it would be one thing for us to ignore this word we've received from the Spirit. it would be one thing if we insisted that it "makes more sense" to stay here. [but trust us, it doesn't make more sense to us, as much as it doesn't make sense to this culture] it's an entirely different thing if we accept this word as GOOD and if we choose to, in obedience to His voice, follow it wherever it may lead. it's an entirely different thing if we choose and seek to have the ways of the Lord be played out in ways that require great faith and perseverance.

this is a step of faith. a big one. one that many think wouldn't come this "early" in our marriage but josh and i believe that there is a certain urgency in the world today. some receive clear words to stay in north america to be the hands and feet but if we are confident that we're being beckoned to a different land to be the hands and the feet of Christ.

as if our life hasn't been crazy enough in the past year, i think it's about to get a little bit crazier...a different kind of crazy though. one filled with much faith, anticipation, listening and believing.

"the ongoing narrative of each of our lives is what binds us all together. through the power of story, our hearts are opened to the plight of others and we are compelled to respond."

this is what josh and i are wanting to live out...
a healthy response to those around us in the light and love and motivation of Christ.

more to come...

(:

urgency & the wind.

written word is an expression that is completely unique to that one person. it's an honest look at what they think, what they may be feeling, what they seek or desire.

"act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life..."

i agree with this. writing makes me slow down, makes me think about what is going on...makes me think about the deeper things that are going on in my head, heart, mind, marriage, friendships.

confession: i have avoided writing lately for these reasons.

not wanting to face realities, not wanting to come to terms with the messy life that i call my own, not wanting to admit that sometimes weakness consumes me and that there are days where i can't seem to bring myself to look towards the Light because He's just too good. and then there are other days where i, with full force, look towards Him because He's just too good to look away from.

"He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm." psalm 40.2

i've been seeing this verse play itself out in a way that i've never experienced. i've been clumsily trying to figure out life on my own, with my own ways, my own strength. i have tried tried tried to be so self sufficient that it's made me a monster at times. in swoops God and shows me verses such as this. i made myself a pit, i placed myself in the clay and i cannot make it out alone. HE is setting myself feet upon a rock, HE is making my path firm.

my heart is realizing just how THANKFUL it should be...for God does not require my perfection. he does not require me to have it all together. he does not want me crap to disappear before i come to Him. i am weary and if i try to get rid of my dirt before i come to Him, i'll probably kill myself. so here i am. pretty much starting new. feeling like a small child, feeling inadequate but being filled with the knowledge and truth that not only does He accept me as i am, he DELIGHTS in me...he sings true love over me, day in and day out.

do you ever have moments when something just changes in you? those moments where life is going one way and then all of a sudden, sometimes literally in a split second, everything changes? God storms in and all is different. josh and i had that moment last night...

we looked at each other and kind of just knew that life will look pretty different, pretty soon. it's almost as if an unrecognized BURDEN was lifted from us and God immediately replaced it with EXCITEMENT and JOY. we've walked this road before, but not together, not in marriage. so many things are still unknown but we do know that God is desiring to move. we do know the urgency behind Scripture like this.

we are starting down this road...with almost no concept of time, place or length but we're walking it...

because you know...
sometimes i just think God wants us to throw caution to the wind.

fragile.

life is fragile.
God is The Healer and nothing is impossible for Him.
we're praying for you amy.

maybe it'll happen

i want to write a blog...
maybe sometime this week.

negative guarantee.

nothing is promised to me

and yet i live as though i am invincible

i know the fragility of life

my eyes have seen it
my hands have held it
my heart has felt it


we simply are not promised that the harsh words spoken today can be apologized for tomorrow...why is it that the pure and great gift of life is taken advantage of


tonight i mourn the loss of a man i did not know...
through the words of his BRAVE and LOVING wife,
my heart has softened a little bit


the man that is sleeping soundly in the room next to me...
the man i love spending my days with...
the man who sees my worst side...
the man who makes me laugh wildly at his random goofiness...
that man, my josh is a gift from above

i cannot imagine my days without him.
therefore, i will make the most of the days we do have.
my heart is burning with a passionate love from God for josh.
tonight, more than most nights, i am incredibly grateful.

the melody in a scream.

"Sometimes I cuss in my conversations with God.
When I’m at the end of it all…
Weeping...
Sobbing…
Doubting…
Screaming…
Cursing…
Retreating…

And you know what?
I think that He hears a melody in those screams that He never hears on a Sunday morning.
The melody of authenticity in pain is so much better than an inauthentic melody of praise on a Sunday morning.

HE will comfort you.
And HE will sing with you.
So don’t be scared to sing in your screams, ragamuffins.
Your haunting melody is music to His ears."

taken from ragamuffinsoul.com [carlos whittaker]

if there was ever a season of life where this resonated with me,
it's this current season of life.
this haunting melody inside of me screams so loud i wonder how He hears me.
i wear myself out, i wear josh out...it's a miracle, a true miracle i don't wear Him out.

in the midst of some shitty circumstances, a gentle Voice comes and reminds me that giving up isn't the easier option...but pressing on and believing in things to come will sustain my heart in a way that giving up and forgetting never could. here's to trusting that these crazy days are but a season.

come and drink.

"The Christian landscape is strewn with the wreckage of derelict, half-built towers - the ruins of those who began to build and were unable to finish.

For thousands of people still ignore Christ's warning and undertake to follow him without first pausing to reflect on the cost of doing so.

The result is the great scandal of Christendom today, so-called 'nominal Christianity'.

In countries to which Christian civilization has spread, large numbers of people have covered themselves with a decent, but thin, veneer of Christianity.
They have allowed themselves to become somewhat involved; enough to be respectable but not enough to be uncomfortable. Their religion is a great, soft cushion. It protects them from the hard unpleasantness of life, while changing its place and shape to suit the convenience.

no wonder the cynics speak of hypocrites in the church and dismiss religion as escapism."

john stott, from basic christianity



this is exactly the world we are living in. living as though we thought Christ came to make us happy...to make us look smooth around the edges. we have been fooled into thinking that getting involved and making appearances is enough to truly satisfy the one who died for us all. as c.s. lewis said, we are far too easily pleased. too pleased with ourselves. too pleased with the happiness around. too pleased and content to pick ourselves up from the low place we find ourselves in and actually look at the life of Christ and return to him the raw and honest love he daily showers on us.

i think that we've all together lost the meaning of what a true disciple looks like.
i know that often times my life is void of the qualities of a true and steadfast disciple.

you know the cliche but incredibly true saying...the Lords ways are better than ours
this is a hard truth to live out when "our" ways aren't bad ways. in my selfish heart i find that it's hard to be denied doing the 'good things' josh and i want to do when in return we get less 'exciting' plans placed before us. i don't want to deny Christ his authority in my life but i wrestle hardcore with the flesh. it's not an easy fight but it's not one i will give up. we don't want to succumb to the lie that if we do my own thing, it'll be more fun than His.

"but at the same time I keep having visions about Jesus coming back and heaven and it makes me scared to face him having not done as he asks."

i received those words in an email a couple of weeks ago. i couldn't agree more. we will face Jesus and we will be responsible for what we did/did not do. the cost of following Christ is great. i fear that the Christianity i see all around doesn't truly please the Lord...doesn't take His words as seriously as He meant them. there is a great and glorious weight in those Words. Jesus, come. Help your people. Help us to remember that you are returning. Help us live with eternal mindsets.

"'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink;
I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me;
I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'

Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'

The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'"
matthew 25.35-40

friends and brothers and sisters, we are responsible!
and what a responsibility it is. what a HONOR.

"Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses,
just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself."
Hebrews 3.3

it's that one thing.

"yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous."
romans 5 : 18 & 19

no way am i putting myself on the level of Adam and definitely not of Christ but this convicted my heart and God seemed to allow my heart to understand the significance of our actions. my words and actions, all of them, have so much power in them, for the good and for the bad.

we seem to belittle certain situations by playing them off as unimportant but we all too easily forget that to someone, that ONE thing could make the world of a difference.

it wasn't my life that introduced sin and it isn't my life that will make many righteous but...
my one action could cause someone to fall into sin
or
my one action could spur them on to gaze upon the Beauty of their creator.


i pray the latter would become truer in my life.
what a road we walk, huh?




"they are like trees planted along the riverbank..."
[training my heart to soak up that which is good and refuse that which is not.]